I was over 19 stone in the left picture.
I loaded it and deleted it four or five times before sharing it because neither image is appealing to look at.
The left one reminds me of a time where I felt totally hopeless, the failure to conceive and carry a child weighed on me. I look at the left one and it reminds me of how totally lost I was. So very desperate for a child, to do the one thing a woman should.
It was soon after this picture that we had our first appointment with the fertility doctor. I stood on the scales for the first time in a very long time. Some how I had jumped from 13 stone to over 19!!
It was that slap in the face that I needed at that time and motivated me to loose the first lot of weight. Of cause it’s hard when you have a love of food and I got a bit too big for my knickers!! I felt confidant and looked better than I had in a while and started to slip.
You know the story it’s not a unique one!
So this time I will keep this image to look at, as much as its hard to do so, it reminds me how far I have come but the right image reminds me that I still have a way to go.
They say nothing in life worth having is easy, for some having a family is just that – easy. The hard work starts when the bundle of joy is with them. My hard work started with the loss of our first baby and I feel like I am still battling.
It’s nice to finally have the motivation to fight, winning isn’t just about the baby but about looking at myself and not feeling like a failure. Every lb lost, every inch gone is a small victory. Maybe one day I will look at both of these images and feel proud. I really hope that.