Firstly I want to apologise for the radio silence the last few months. I can honestly say that this last year of my life has been the worst…. Ever….
Last year I wrote about my cousin and his fight with Leukemia. Soon after that blog he was told he was in remission, sadly four weeks later he was back at James Cook hospital having a brain tumour removed and about to under go more treatment.
Gavin was so strong, no matter how many tests returned with bad news or treatment plans, chemo, radiation and so on were thrown at him, he continued to fight and smile.
During the last few radiation treatments in December he became ill again.
Two days before Christmas we found out that the Leukemia had returned and that it was terminal.
We were going to loose him. At 27 years old one of the most brilliant sparkling lights I had ever known had to leave us.
I have lost grandparents to cancer, finding out that we had to say goodbye to my little cousin, someone I saw more as a little brother was different. Que full melt down. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it ….. How could we ever say goodbye.
Immediately my stomach rejected the lunch I had just eaten, and worst of all I had to watch his sister, my cousin break the news to us and her heart.
I cried. I cried for Gavin, I cried for his partner of 9 years, I cried for my Aunt and Uncle who are amazing wonderful people and didn’t deserve this heartbreak. I cried for his sister.
I am not a cryer, but since then the tears just haven’t stopped.
He came home for his last Christmas, still not really believing it was real! Constantly searching or hoping for a glimmer of a miricle something to save his life.
It never came.
I can’t describe the pain that followed and still is with us, we are totally broken. He’s left a massive hole in our lives.
I wanted to share this because I feel ready to start to write again but also to tell the world about Gavin, the beautiful brave warrior that fought this shitty illness to his last breath.
He is my inspiration to live life as well as I can, to never forget the importance of one more day.
To quote a recent meme I read on Facebook.
If love could have kept you alive, you would have lived forever.
Be thankful for everyday you have, even the bad ones. Appreciate your loved ones …. Make the time to see them!!
Until next time ❤️🌟